Stop Sabotaging Weight Loss Now

stop self sabotaging weight loss

Do you have well-meaning family members or friends who say they are there for you, yet they seem to continue to sabotage your weight loss efforts? You know what I mean. They buy things that you don’t want to eat and they leave it right out in the open where you are tempted even though they are fully aware you are dieting.

Or they may encourage you to eat things that you are clearly trying to avoid. And whether you are able to resist the temptation or not, you wonder, “Why would my loved one sabotage my weight loss efforts?”. It can be very frustrating.

Why do family and friends sabotage?

I think there are a couple reasons why our loved ones and friends sabotage our weight loss efforts.

First, I think that perhaps they don’t fully understand how serious you are about changing your lifestyle. Perhaps they have seen you not stick with diets in the past. Or maybe they have seen you lose weight only to gain it back. So it is understandable it may be difficult for them to take you seriously. This can be very frustrated, especially if you are 100% committed to losing weight this time. All you can do is just keep your commitment to yourself and be patient with your family.

Trust that they will see your commitment and turn into an encourager rather than a saboteur. You may want to consider sitting down and having a serious conversation with your loved one. Let them know how important it is to you that they support you with your weight loss efforts. But if you can’t win their support, you need to keep pushing yourself. Don’t let their lack of encouragement give you an excuse to quit.

Show them you mean business by not only losing the weight but by keeping it off. People often expect weight loss to be temporary as many people yo-yo. I know even now, 4 years later, people make comments like, “Wow! I can’t believe you are still thin”.

Another reason why people might sabotage your weight loss efforts is simply that they don’t think. For example, last Christmas my son got me a huge box of imported milk chocolates. He knows I am not eating sugar and he loves seeing me healthy. He really just wanted to surprise me. But, obviously I didn’t want chocolates in my house as a temptation and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings either. So what I did was quietly gave the chocolates to my sister in law who was having a New Years Eve Party. She put them on a platter and they were a huge hit.

My point is that my son would never intentionally try to sabotage my efforts. He simply wanted to give me something that he thought I would love. And the old me would have loved the chocolates.

Another reason to sabotage weight loss is that misery loves company. Unhealthy people enjoy having company when they eat out and make unhealthy choices. When you decide to change, they feel threatened and may even worry they will lose you. They may worry that the one thing that was important between you was food. Now that you are eating differently than them, they may worry that the relationship will be different.

If you have a saboteur in your life, please try to be patient and understand they are responding out of their own fear. All you can do is reassure them that you are still you. You are just turning into a smaller physical person.

Why do we self-sabotage our own weight loss?

I think the biggest reason we self-sabotage is that it takes a while to get used to eating a different way. Actually, I just read that a group of students at the University College London did some research and now believe that it takes the average person 66 days to create a habit rather than the 21 one days that many think. You can read the article below.

How Long Does it take for something to become a habit?

The point is, if you are 50 years old and switching to a healthy low carb lifestyle, it will take a while to get used to the changes. And those changes are not only related to the food you eat but also the relationship with food. If you have been thinking one way, it will take a while to change your thoughts.

Another reason we self-sabotage weight loss is that we are fearful of success. Change is always scary even if it is a positive change. When we are overweight it is easy to hide our feelings and emotions within. Being in a new body can be very scary. If you lose weight and get healthy, your entire outlook on life may change. It is scary but worth it.

The other thing to keep in mind is that you may be self-sabotaging your diet and not even be aware of it. I know, it sounds crazy but it’s true. For example, let’s say you are trying to change how you eat, yet you end up binging on ice cream at bedtime. Then you ask yourself, “Why did I do that?”. It is frustrating.

But realizing that your crazy mind will play tricks on you will help you can take steps to change your thinking.

Recommended Reading on Self-Sabotage

Food Crazy Mind: 5 Simple Steps to Stop Mindless Eating and Start a Healthier, Happier Relationship with Food





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18 thoughts on “Stop Sabotaging Weight Loss Now”

  1. This is great. I know the feeling when you are sabotaged by a family member. Although they do it with good intent, it still goes against the reason why we wanted to do it and it becomes hard for us because we can’t say anything that will hurt their feelings.

    self Sabotage is just not in my case because I like being disciplined and I follow through the things I plan to do. 🙂
    Thank you

    1. I know what you mean, Edmond. Our families would never intentionally try to hurt us but they do try to sabotage and often enable us. I think the important thing is to be aware and just keep focused. I think it is awesome that you are able to follow through and be disciplined. Many of us aren’t which is why we struggle with our weight so much in the first place. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. This is a great post! Most people aren’t even aware these things are happening to them because it happens subconsciously. Then after it’s done, the guilt kicks in, then the rethinking of the situation and it’s all downhill from there.

    Main thing we can do in these situations is to stay strong and not give in. And if you do, realize it’s not the end of the world and tomorrow is a new day.

    Thank you again 🙂

    1. Yes! Tomorrow is another day and no it isn’t the end of the world. It takes us time to make changes and build a new habit. Being kind to ourselves and knowing we are only human is important. You are welcome and that you for leaving a comment. By the way, I love the name of your website! 🙂

  3. Hey Wendy,
    Great topic for me because this one hits home! My middle daughter was having issues with losing weight and was trying everything she could. I push at her for months about her complaining that we always buy un-healthy foods and it’s not fair to her. I never thought about things from her perspective and I feel like when I actually started listening to her she got better. She never let my toxic attitude push her away from her goals. I truly believe 100% that family/friend are saboteurs because I’m living proof of it!

    1. I so much appreciate your openness and sharing your story. Like you, I don’t think family intentionally try to sabotage but they often do. The great news is your daughter has you for a parent. I think it is awesome that you started listening to her. I’m sure she really appreciates your support.

  4. Hi I really like your site. I like the honesty of your opinions as to why others are not always as supportive as they could be. Great share. Kenny

  5. Hello Wendy, this was a great article to read. I totally agree with you that family and friends can sabotage your weight loss plans intentionally. It is important to support your weight loss plan to avoid serious health problems. Bad foods are like drugs, it is very addictive. It is up to you to fight these urges, and eliminate these bad eating habits for loss of weight. A healthy lifestyle is the best lifestyle. Thanks again for the article, and I hope you continue to work hard on your weight loss site!!!

    1. You got it Ahmad! A healthy lifestyle is the best and yes, bad food that is high in sugar is very addictive. I know as I’m a true sugar addict. Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate it.

  6. Great and informative article.
    I loved reading it because I had the same problem.
    Although my problem was not a weight losing problem but it was changing to a heart healthy diet since I was looking to unclog my arteries.
    I can tell you that sticking to your diet is the hardest and to me it took 3 months of discipline to fix my habit so that I did not sabotage my efforts.

    Great article once again, thanx

    1. I am so glad you were able to make the commitment to your health. I know it takes discipline. You should be proud, Thabo. Way to go.

  7. I feel like loved ones sabotaging your weight loss may also come from jealousy in some cases. I know my husband wasn’t losing weight, so he would buy me cake! It was really hard to resist the temptations, but when we sat down and talked, it was because he was jealous that I was seeing results and he wasn’t. He figured it was better for us to both go down, heh.

    1. As crazy as it sounds, Genesis, I think you are right. Sometimes when people see us successful or getting attention from others they will sabotage. And I really don’t think they realize what they are doing.

  8. Hello Wendy,
    Thanks for this great post! I love this site. Your information is very real and true for today’s society. My boyfriend is overweight, mostly from quitting smoking. I try to get him to lose weight in an encouraging way rather than to make him feel self-conscious about himself. The thing is that he lives with his mom so he can help manage their farm and in return she cooks his meals during the week.
    She doesn’t consider diet foods at all in the meals she prepares for him. And then his 14 year old daughter, who he has every other weekend, likes to eat out and love ice cream. He won’t just sit and watch her eat that junk, he can’t resist it. I’m not sure how to approach these situations without treading on dangerous territory, so I usually just try to cook right for him on my weekends, (every other weekend that he doesn’t have his daughter).
    I really feel like this is referred to “Family Sabotage”. But what do you do when your an outsider?
    Thanks for the encouragement. Also, very interesting about Cow’s milk. I drink 2% pretty regularly.. is it also just as bad?
    Thanks again,
    PS: I love the way your site is designed! Very crisp, clean, and easy to get around.

    1. Devara, I can feel for you. I know what you mean. It is difficult when you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. All you can do really is be an example and make sure you provide healthy meals when you are with him. The other thing you can do is have a heart to heart with him and share your concerns about his health. Let him know you love him and want him on this earth. He may decide to make a change in regards to how he eats.

      Does he like to read? Perhaps you can share a lchf book with him. The one I recommend is Eat Fat Get Thin. Or you can send him a link to

      But I don’t think I would bring up him Mom or Daughter. That would be up to him. Perhaps down the road if he decides to make some healthy changes he will address it. I actually worry about his daughter. If she is eating like this now, what will her future be like?

      In regards to the cow’s milk, 2% is actually worse because they remove the healthy fat and replace it with more sugar. The dairy companies promote the low-fat milk as a health food but if you are going to drink milk, the full fat is actually a better choice. I personally stick to heavy cream or butter (which is cream) in my coffee. It tastes much better anyway. I honestly don’t miss the milk.

      Devara, Thank you so much for stopping by and thanks for the compliment on my site. It really means a lot.


  9. Yes I agree that it can certainly get harder to get rid of the extra kilos when you are over 50.
    I too have been guilty of inviting friends over for “cake and coffee”. I guess I should have said “fruit salad and coffee instead”.
    I too have been guilty of giving chocolates and alcohol as “last minute gift ideas”. I should have been better organised and got them some flowers instead!
    What do you do when you have to give last minute gifts?

    1. I give people what they enjoy. Just because I eat a low carb diet doesn’t mean they do. Actually most people don’t. So I try to focus on them and what they enjoy. If my friend loves wine, then I would get them a bottle of wine. But, they probably wouldn’t get me candy knowing that I don’t eat sugar. I think it is about being understanding if someone is following a different lifestyle. 

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